At first I really didn’t have any words. The past few days my mind has been processing all of the things my heart learned while I was in Honduras. This transition back to the states has completely taken me off guard.
I am confused, humbled, overwhelmed with God’s love, but most of all I am FULL. And I’ve said that before, but I guess I never really knew what that meant until I was face to face with God’s work every single day.
People have been asking me how my trip was? Did you miss your family? The honest answer… no. Do you know how confusing it is to go 9 days in a different country, only showering once, being totally out of your comfort zone and there isn’t an ounce of you that wants to leave? I’m still processing that part of it. I love/depend/need my people more that I thought was healthy and yet I cried the whole way home from the airport. How could home feel so empty? I believe that God’s love blinds us to everything.. including missing home for a while. A friend told me that God breaks our hearts for a reason. We are supposed to crave more than what can possibly be offered here on earth. I know what she means.
I may have taught those kids English, but they taught me so much more. They taught me to be present. REALLY present. They taught me to communicate without words. They taught me to play, love, interact, dream, work hard and praise God no matter what troubles you may have. Some of the people there know more about me than people I’ve known for years… they want to know YOU… not what car you drive or how many square feet your house is.
The hardest question for me to answer is: do you feel so much more thankful for what you have? Yes and no. The tangible things.. yes, I can clearly see that I have “more” but I can also clearly see that those things mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. When it comes to happiness and thankfulness… we don’t have more than they do from what I could see. We put our time and energy into things that don’t matter. So yet another thing for my heart to process.. who REALLY has more? What can I learn from them about truly being happy? How can I bring back the things I’ve learned and live them daily?
Honduras may be dangerous and I’m sure there is so much more to this country and it’s dynamics than I will ever know but what I do know is I’ve grown more the past 9 days than I have in my entire life. I am settling back into the swing of things but my eyes will see things a little different now.
If you’re still reading, thank you. Writing is my way of working through things and I wanted to share this for anyone wondering if there is more to life than here.. the answer is YES. Get out. Go meet people, ask them REAL questions, listen to their answers and learn from them. Above all… SERVE and PRAY.
I may be home, but Honduras will always have a piece of my heart and I cannot wait to go back.
Edit: I also want to point out that part of home came with me in the form of Erika. Thank you for growing, laughing (a TON), learning and loving with me… I honestly couldn’t imagine this experience without you. You’re one of the best humans I know. Love you more than you know.